About genius

I read an article today about Peyton Manning being a genius and a pain in the ass. I think he's a big ugly dickhole playing for a stupid team in an awful state, but no sane person would argue that he isn't a great and phenomenal NFL quarterback. And sure, he's probably a "genius," but I think more likely a savant. Leonardo fuckin da Vinci was a genius. If Peyton can solve the unemployment situation, or develop a feasible alternative to fossil fuels, or paint a fuckin fresco, then he's a genius. Anyway, the article's main point is about obsession and hard work, and I see connections to my own problems as a writer. I lack the obsession and work ethic that I have seen even in several of my peers in the writing game. I think I probably have some level of raw talent or ability, probably not much, but enough to get by for a while. What holds me back is this whole discipline thing. Work. I spend too little time reading and writing...that awful time that really good and of course, great writers spend on their craft. The time that shatters their relationships with the people they love. The time that drives them to substance abuse and suicide...though I am sure plenty of non-geniuses have drunk themselves to death or jumped off bridges. The thing is, I do read and write. Constantly. I'm writing right now. But it's the quality of the writing that matters. Perhaps it doesn't matter so much on that first shitty draft we all write (right?). But that so often is where I give up. I write a bunch of crap, don't finish it, and walk away. Somehow I lack the tenacity, or maybe temerity, to stick with it.

Where, then, do I get sticktoitiveness from?

Certainly not Icehouse beer and blogging at 4:30 in the morning.