To the Chicago restaurant industry

I'd like to write a short, open letter to many of the fine restaurants and bars in the city of Chicago (and wherever else):

Join the fucking 21st century. The concept of consumer credit has existed for centuries, and the credit card itself, in various forms since the early part of the 20th century. In the 1950s credit and charge card companies began issuing cards to folks for use to make purchases at retailers and restaurants--Diners Club was the first independent card. Note what the fuck it was called: Diners Club. Because people want to use these goddamn things in restaurants. Since debit cards became widely available and convenient in the 90s, the use of cash has been declining:

There is evidence that paper money is being used less often, according to the Federal Reserve. Though cash payments are difficult to track, the number of noncash transactions in the United States grew from fewer than 250 a person in 1995 to more than 300 in 2006. Data on the stock of small-denomination bills and destroyed bills indicates that the use of cash peaked in the mid-1990s and has been declining since, two economists at the Federal Reserve Bank of Cleveland found.

And now there's an app and scanner for cellphones that can read credit cards. Do you realize what this means? Now bookmakers, prostitutes, and drug dealers can theoretically accept your Master Card in exchange for their products and services.

So tell me why, when you've gone to all the hassle of obtaining a liquor license from the city of Chicago, all the various permits and other bureaucratic nonsense that it takes to open a restaurant in this town, you insist that your customers not have the convenience of paying for their meal with a credit or debit card? To you I say, fuck your bogus wannabe taco stand. I am going across the street to spend my money where I am valued as a consumer, whether I have cash in my pocket or not.

It's not just cheap brandy

It's the cheapest.

In spite of my liquor-ish transgressions last evening, I have work to do today. And I think that writing a blog post about nothing in particular is what I need to do to get started. I suppose that the first thing on my agenda this morning afternoon (after this blog post, of course) is to write another blog post. That "professional" shit I was talking about before. I think that if I get enough swear words out of my system here (shitfuck) that I'll be able to create the appropriate content (fuckass) for the work I need to get paid for (goddamn bitchassfuckshit).

Then I will use that swear-free article as part of a writing sample for a portfolio that I will send to another employer who would pay me a lot better if they hired me. Nothing against my current employer, but this part-time stuff ain't paying the bills right now. Anyway, I've never made it a secret that I'm looking for a full-time job that would launch me into the dwindling ranks of America's middle class. I think it would be fun to have health insurance and all that shit. I injure myself sometimes. Plus I think I might have a cavity in one of my molars.

After that, I need to clean up the kitchen. The perpetual disaster that is my kitchen. I plan on making pizza tonight (which always wrecks the kitchen). I picked up some prosciutto at Trader Joe's the other night. That will be delicious on my pizzas. Come over if you want a slice.

And then maybe I can get back to work on that novel. Or memoir. Or a short story, maybe. Or the novella. Or maybe I can drink beer and watch The Simpsons. Whatever works, ya know?

Where I've been, why I've been there

I haven't had internet access at the house for a while. This is due to nonpayment to my previous ISP, which is something I should probably feel bad about, but fuck em. If they insist on providing services to poor people, it's their own damn fault. Just like all the banks that gave out loans to poor people. What I am saying is that we poor people can't be trusted to pay our various debts. We should all be locked away in debtors' prisons like they did to Charles Dickens. 

I've been working a little bit lately, and the promise of more work is ahead. So maybe I can start to climb out of this hole. I got a new ISP.

Anyway, the point of all that is that I've used the lack of access as an excuse not to post updates to this blog, even though I occasionally popped into the coffee shop for free wi-fi. I have also used the lack of work as an excuse not to write so much. Some fits and starts, kind of, but mostly just watching shit that Netflix sends me in the mail (have you seen The Wire? I mean, goddamn!) and listening to Cubs games on the radio. Getting back to work will help me to force myself to write. Especially since my work is about to involve writing. Doing a blog, some marketing type stuff. Sans the f-word, though, I imagine. But still, it's getting paid to write stuff. 

So that's where I've been. I am back now. We'll see how things turn out.